My dear darling Elijah Micah Rea. You have such a strong name, one chosen for you by your dear Daddy. And with that name he gave you the strength to live your life without him being around.
You are nearly four now, coming to the age of noticing what you do not have. You see your friends and cousins with their daddy and you cry to me that your daddy is not around anymore. You tell me that your miss him all the time, most often late at night when most daddy’s are giving their little boys a goodnight kiss. You wonder where your goodnight kiss from your daddy is? You ask me why we aren’t going away on a family holiday or away camping for the weekend. You want to know why your daddy is not around to do these things for you.
I find it hard to explain death to you as I want to protect you. I do not want you ever to be sad my little baby boy. Your daddy loved you so much and I know he would have done anything to be able to still be here with you. You were so wanted and planned.
I want you to know that I am enough for you. Your daddy has given me super powers to be a super mama. When you are scared of the dark I will give you the biggest cuddle and switch the light on. Remember the other night when you thought you saw a big scary monster spider in the kitchen, I cam running to show you it was just a shadow. When you cry and tell me you miss daddy I tell you I do too but I love you more than enough for a thousand billion million to the moon and back again mama and daddy’s.
You could never be more loved and even though your daddy is no longer with us he is up in heaven loving you from there.